New Life!!

Which is a greater demonstration of the Lord's power--changing something around me or changing something within my heart?
Wow I read this today and it really made me think.
It has been quite the battle this week of believing in healing when your not physically feeling well!!
This week when we were in Santa Monica for the 12 hour day which includes going from Hotel to Dr. office every 2 hours I was so short of breath that I made it the first time at 7:30 am but asked for a wheel chair for the rest of the day. Fred had to push me every 2 hours to have blood drawn. I was so devasted and felt like I lost the battle. I had this melt down on the our little patio outside our room. But the Lord is so good he showed me that I had won the battle by keeping the conviction that the Holy Spirit had shown us weeks earlier. I could have started a different chemo much earlier and felt like I was in control. But the Dr had said you will know which is the right treatment for you. Well that meant waiting and waiting for the some other things to get done first to get to the this treatment that I am on. The Lord had to change my heart. I have to trust Him and get strength from him which is so much more important than just changing my circumstance and me being in control. I could have started another treatment but I was trusting and relying and getting a heart change waiting on the Lord!! WOW Its nots an easy place to be but but a very joyful, peaceful place once I had my melt down. I have a renewed strength that I didn't have before. Its not about me but my relationship with Him. And I am still learning and seeking!!